Something Happened on the Way to the Wedding

Since we retired, Carl has continued to do weddings for former church members and their families. It is always such a blessing to get to see “old” friends again and catch up on all the family news. Many of these folks I communicate with by Facebook, and then there are contacts that are “blasts from the past.” But it is always fun to reconnect.

Last night was a wedding of a family from Midlothian. It is so much fun to be with the Nutt family. They have wonderful sense of humors, lots of stories, and “do you remember” moments. Their beautiful daughter, Emily, was getting married, and she wanted Carl to marry her and Brent.

Of course, Carl was going to wear his usual navy blue suit and a black robe, but I don’t like getting dressed up. My motto is: be comfortable. I found after months of searching my white turtleneck top along with my navy denim skirt. And surprise, surprise, I found another pair of shoes that I had totally forgotten about and a jacket that I could remove if it got to be too warm.

I had been in a lot of pain for the past several days, and as I went out the door I thought, “you better get some Ibuprofen and something to drink.” Now did I think about water to drink? No, I grabbed a diet coke, and out to the car I went. I bet you can see where this is going!!!

The wedding was about an hour and three-quarters away. The day had been threatening rain, and although it was warm (70), it was very humid. As Carl backed out of the driveway, the front of the car scrapped on the pavement. Now, this is not unusual, it happens every time we back out. And once again, I roll my eyes and tell Carl he has to get that fixed. Backing out is ruining the underside of my car.

Down the road we go! A light mist is beginning to fall on the windshield. Well, this is interesting! The wedding is outside. But I always tell myself that if I am not happy with the weather, just wait a few minutes and it will change. Which it did a few miles out-of-town.

We were on our way! I pop the diet coke top and reach for my Ibuprofen. I popped a pill, put the coke can up to my lips and BUMP!! You got it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The can missed my lips, and coke ran down the front of me big time!!!!!! I just sat there looking at my white turtleneck now with a HUGE coke stain down the front. From the driver’s seat I hear, “Do you want to go back to the house?” Pause.  “No!” I said slowly through my teeth. We drove on.

As we got ready to get on the highway, I took my jacket off thinking that I am going to be totally embarrassed  at the wedding. There were not a few drops of coke that I might try to hide; the whole front of my turtleneck was covered. And then it came too me what I could do!!!

“Stay in the right hand lane. DO NOT pass anyone!!!,” I said to the driver. And I begin to pull my right arm out of the turtleneck sleeve. “What are you doing?” asked the surprised driver. “Just keep driving and don’t pass anyone!!” I said firmly.

“Oh, my God, you are doing a “monkey-face,” comes from the driver’s seat. “What?” I say. “You are doing a monkey-face!” Arm half out of my sleeve, I asked “What is a monkey-face?” By this time I am beginning to laugh, because what has a monkey’s face have to do with turning my turtleneck around, in a car going down the highway at 65 mph. The driver starts to laugh.

“A monkey-face is when you cannot use one side, you turn it around to the other side,”  the driver says. “What are you taking about?” I asked as I have one arm out and working on the other arm. The driver says, “Went you have a pair of work gloves made of cloth and one side wears out, you turn them around and use the other side.” By this time I am fighting with the body of the turtleneck trying to get the back to the front. Years ago I had cut out the tag on the inside of the neck, because it always tickled. So there was no tag for everyone to see. So who would have guessed I was so clever!

By this time Carl and I were both laughing so hard that I could not get my arm in the second sleeve. I are going down the road at 65 mph doing a monkey-face and laughing until my stomach hurt.

After a couple of minutes with turtleneck intact, laughter under control, with two Ibuprofen in my hand, I say “You can pull into the passing lane now.” Carl, the driver, says, “Why did I have to stay in the right hand lane?” “So no one can see me, of course,” I say. “What about the people passing us?” he asks. “They can’t see me while I am half-dressed. But passing someone, they can see into the car!” It made perfect sense to me.

We arrived at the wedding with no more incidents. I sit outside with a cool breeze coming off the little pond where the wedding is about to take place. I look down at my pure white front, and reply “Oh, how clever you are! No one even notices that I have my turtleneck on backwards.” “What?” asked the woman next to me. “Oh, nothing!” The end of another great day!!

Today, do something that challenges you, Linda


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