Do you ever get that feeling, “I want to be a Perfectionist?” I get it all the time. Sometimes I think that if my world was perfect, a lot would get done; the sun would always shine; and there would be no stress. The weight would come off; the garden would bloom beautifully; and there would be milk and hot cookies waiting for everyone. Now I am really dreaming!! Feeling Good! Organized!!
There are a lot of folks who want to be a Perfectionist. You know who they are!! Some of them walk around pulling out their hair, because things are not getting done. Some talk all the time about “so much stress” and “not enough time.” While others slump in a chair thinking, “This is impossible!” I have had times (well actually most times) where I sit looking at my To-Do List knowing there is no way this list is going to be completed. Not Feeling Good! Not Organized!!
I wonder where we come up with some of these impossible ideas! I have a granddaughter who is a Perfectionist. Sometimes her stress level is off the charts. One day we were talking about blogs. She said that she was writing a blog for her English class. I told her that I just started writing a blog; so we exchanged blog addresses. Feeling Good! Organized!!
She is a good writer — clear, too the point, and thoughtful. (I would like to think she takes after her Grandmother!) And there it is: “My work is not done until it is PERFECT!” No wonder she spends so much time on homework. It has to be right; it has to be perfect. Not Feeling Good! Not Organized!!
I had a aunt who was a Perfectionist — so much so, my father did not visit her often (She is my father’s oldest sister.), because “She always makes my uncomfortable. I can’t even take my shoes off and wiggle my toes before she has the broom out to sweep the floor where I walked.” I don’t remember her bringing out the broom, but I do remember that every time my father finished a cigarette, she would get up, dump the cigarette out, wash the cigarette dish, and put it back on the end table. (This was during the time when people smoked in each others house.) There is no way I want to follow that example! Feeling Good! Organized!!
Perfectionism is over rated! Just because the house is “perfect” inside and out does not mean that the family who lives there is happy. I have a friend who has fifteen dogs and a lot of cats. She leaves the front and back doors open so the animals can go in and out of the house when they want. Now I am not saying that you need fifteen dogs and a ton of cats to be happy. (She also is a reader — lots and lots of books!) But she and her husband were in love and happy. They didn’t have a lot, but there was always laughter that rang from one room to another. The coffee was always ready for the visitor who stopped in unannounced. They pulled jokes on each other, and walked into church holding hands.. Feeling Good! Organized!!
I believe there is a lesson here: it’s not the perfect house with the most beautiful yard; it’s not sweeping up after people walk though you house; it’s not having everything perfect before it is completed. Perfectionism is not all these things. Maybe Perfectionism is the love of and for other people. Maybe Perfectionism is putting the broom down and visiting with your little brother. Maybe Perfectionism is doing your best, then letting it go. Maybe the definition of Perfectionism needs to change to love, hope, compassion, and the desire to be with others. I like that definition. Feeling Very Good! Totally Organized!!
Today, do something that challenges you, Linda